The Legend of the Drunken Warrior
by Savage Thunder
Summary: *chap. 6 up* the BLitz team is drinking what happens now? what happens when Bit gets wasted? Rated pg-13 due to slight cussing and the drinking. full fleged Bit/Leena.
1. chapter the first

The Legend of the Drunken Warrior  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own zoids, or the movie Legend of the Drunken Master. But if I did I would be filthy rich... which I'm not.  
  
Bit yelled out "STRIKE LAZER CLAW" at the top of his lungs. A command wolf's leg fell off from where it was attached to the zoids body.  
  
"The battle is over the battle is over. The winner is...The Blitz team." The judge announced in its monotone voice.  
  
Back at the Blitz team base every one was celebrating their new victory. So far they hadn't lost a battle in class S. Bit took down the command wolf, Brad took down an Iron Kong, and Leena completely destroyed a Cannon Tortoise.  
  
"Hey I smell something funny." Exclaimed a surprised Bit.  
  
"Are you sure you aren't smelling yourself, Bit? I mean we did just get in from a battle, and your all sweaty." Replied Leena.  
  
" Well my sweat doesn't smell like cheap whiskey, that's for sure." Bit shot back.  
  
Brad stood up and yelled "Cheap! That cost me 20 bucks." Then promptly walked out of the room.  
  
"Jeez, wonder what's up with him? Oh well he'll go and worship his money and feel better in no time." Bit and Leena stared at each other after saying the same thing. "Jinx." "Double Jinx." They both said in unison again.  
  
Leena had to think quickly, and then she did the only thing that came to mind... She bit Bit's cheek.  
  
"OWWWW, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Bit screamed as he yelled out in pain at Leena's first attack, but as he did so the skin in his cheek contracted leaving him in even greater pain than before. Leena let go and walked off out of the rec. room. She could only think " Damn why did I bite him I should have kissed him... what the hell am I thinking that should teach him to match wits with me and for stealing my food. But still if Bit hadn't of stolen my food then I probably wouldn't have lost that 10 pounds."  
  
Bit was left with a feeling of pain and loss, yet he still felt happy. Leena's lips had touched his cheek. Bit was on Cloud Nine, his very own Cloud Nine, and Bit was ecstatic about it. Next time for sure she'll fall for my charm and kiss me for real. Bit's wishful thinking was left to himself, but somewhere else in the base Brad wasn't so happy.  
  
Brad pulled out his bootlegged whiskey that had cost him twenty bucks. He took a large swig of the powerful liquid and let it warm him. " oh yeah that is how its done" He took another swig and put the bottle under his bed ready for the next battle they would be in.  
  
Hey if you liked it and want me to do more just review, even if you didn't like it review and tell me what you didn't like about it. If your lucky I might take your advice. 


	2. joining of the drunks

Disclaimer: again I do not own zoids or the movie legend of the drunken master. I would really like to, and be filthy rich. Speaking of that does any one know I could become owner of them both for about *looks in wallet* 5 bucks and 58 cents?  
  
Brad sat alone in his room at the Blitz team base. Worshiping his money and his bottle of twenty dollar bootlegged whiskey. "I must become one with the bottle, when I attain that level then I can be rich and become one with the money." Brad chanted this over and over.  
  
There was a knock at the door. "HOW DARE YOU DISTURB ME WHILE I'M BECOMING ONE WITH THE BOTTLE!" Bit ran for his life like Leena was after him while Brad continued his insane ranting. And wave after wave of Alcohol smell drifted from under the door. After Brad had finished his rant he began to think. And in his drunken stupor we all know how this idea will end up. "I will make them become one with the bottle with me" Brad's eyes opened at the thought. It was such a wonderful idea then they could finally be interested in the money in battling. Bit would calm down, Leena would too. Doc would stop acting so foolishly, and Jamie... he would finally chill out and stop stressing so much. With his new goal in sight he began to plan about how he would bring his drunken brilliance to light so that all of them would see the light.  
  
Bit ran down and out of the hallway to get away from brad so fast he didn't even stop as he ran over Jamie in his effort to get away from his crazy teammate. This was Bit's down fall as he ran into the Rec. room and straight into Leena. With Leena not paying much attention he tackled her and to both of their shocked expressions their lips met in a short kiss. To the surprise of both Bit and Leena, she put her arms around him in an effort to keep him there a little longer. But she was a second to short as Bit had already started to get off of her as he was apologizing for tackling her. "Leena I'm so sorry, Brad was chanting again, and I went to tell him dinner was ready like you asked but he went insane and yelled at me and I couldn't understand him. Oh god he went insane." Bit was cut short by Leena slapping him so hard that it knocked him over once again.  
  
"Bit Cloud, I swear if your lying I'll beat you to the very thread of life that you have. And why do I smell cheap whiskey now?" Over Leena's anger Brad could be heard yelling " that cost me twenty bucks."  
  
"What did Brad knock over this time?" Was Leena's sedated reply.  
  
"How much you wanna bet it was Naomi?" Replied Bit dryly.  
  
"Five bucks ok with you?"  
  
"Yep, works for me."  
  
In the mean time Jamie had gotten up and told Brad that dinner was almost ready and had a completely different reply than Bit did. "Dinner? Yes dinner, I will be out shortly, Jamie." Was Brad's new reply.  
  
Brad still had his master plan developing in his mind. If dinner wasn't ready yet, he could slip in and spike every thing with his wonderful alcohol. By the time he was finished they would be almost as drunk as he was after one meal. Brad swiftly walked out of his room and the foul stench of alcohol followed him. He dodged right, left, and right again to get into the kitchen with his beautiful bottle. He added the foul mix to every piece of food there so that not a single one was without the impure touch of the powerful liquor. He had almost completely drained his bottle of alcohol in this one meal, good thing he had more, a lot more. Soon they would be with him and they would mellow out. But he was never prepared for what happened.  
  
The Blitz team sat down to a wonderfully huge banquet to celebrate they're winning that last match. "Wow, this smells great Jamie what did you make?" asked Leena as she eyed the food in front of her.  
  
"Ah, just a few things, some hamburgers, salad, with my own recipe for the dressing, chili, cornbread, garlic bread, some steak, mushrooms, and for Doc I made some of my Dad's special beer bread. Powerful just the way it's supposed to be made." Jamie ran on telling of the other sorts of foods he had made.  
  
Brad sat there completely speechless when Jamie had mentioned his dad's beer bread. He put a lot of his liquor into it. This was not part of his plan, Doc would survive it seeing as he weighed more than Bit Leena, and Jamie. Poor Jamie he couldn't eat too much tonight or he could possibly end up passing out from the alcohol consumption, maybe even dying from it. But he stayed silent the whole meal and watched as every one gorged themselves on the alcoholic feast in front of them and they didn't even know the amount of alcohol that they were consuming when they took one bite from the beer bread.  
  
By the end of dinner every one was loosening up, brad had to admit Jamie could take his liquor even if he didn't know he was taken it. Bit and Leena who had eaten the most out of all of them seemed to not notice the alcohol's effect on them yet. They were just talking pleasantly, and having a grand time. With the powerful liquor having them under its control they shed all their inhibitions leaving their judgement at a huge loss, and with out knowing that they were under its effects they had no way of fighting back mentally, no way at all to restrain themselves. So as Bit's confidence soared he got up the courage to ask Leena what he wanted to say earlier.  
  
"Hey, Leena"  
  
"Yeah, Bit what is it?"  
  
"I was kinda wondering if you'd like to go out on the town sometime." Bit had a sloppy grin on his face from all the liquor, Leena's cheeks where rosy from the warming effects of the alcohol.  
  
"Its about time, Bit Cloud." Leena leaned in close and gave him a kiss on the cheek. By now all of them smelled like Brad's cheap twenty-dollar whiskey.  
  
Doc stood up abruptly startling every one yelling at the top of his lungs. "I'VE GOT IT, A BRAND NEW CAS SYSTEM FOR THE LIGER." A tulip screen was behind him and Jamie was throwing tulip petals by. "Thank you Jamie that will be all." Doc finished off the last of the beer bread and ran off with a huge grin on his face about his idea spurred by a drunken stupor.  
  
"Wow, life can't get much better than this. I feel great, I have a girlfriend, and Docs gonna make me a new CAS system for the Liger." Bit spoke looking absolutely sick.  
  
Brad was thinking again now, maybe he had used too much of his miracle liquor? Naaaa, couldn't be.  
  
Ask and you shall receive, I just was full of ideas today. And since I got such a positive feed back the people get what they want. Next time they have their first drunken battle. Well at least the first for every except Brad. What drunken antics will they find next time? R&R Please. 


	3. flings and ding-a-lings

Disclaimer: I don't own zoids or the Movie legend of drunken master.  
  
  
  
As the new day grew closer and closer no one showed any signs of sobering up… least of all Bit and Leena. Bit and Leena were even more intoxicated than Brad was, and they still had that battle tomorrow, well not any more it was 2 in the morning. And the battle is at 3 in the afternoon.  
  
Doc Toros stood on his head thinking about what the new CAS system would do. It had to be really cool but still had to fake out any opponents. Then it hit him, he fell face first into the floor, got up and ran out to make the new unit before the battle. Not caring in the least that he was plastered, and he had no where near the amount of time needed to make a new CAS system, but he tried anyway in a drunken stupor.  
  
Meanwhile, while Doc was thinking and working, so were Bit and Leena. With their newfound love of each other they were making out and kissing constantly. And if Jamie weren't already puking up his guts the mere sight of them would scar his life forever, and leave him running to the bathroom to puke his guts up even more.  
  
Brad was in his room once again thinking of these new developments in his plan. "There has got to be a way to get them all to sleep it off with out them realizing that I spiked all the food. That way they will be ready for the battle." Brad did the math in his head quickly, if they slept for nine hours they would be sober but have one HELL of a hangover. But who knows how long it will take for him to get them too sleep. Doc would be fine, but Jamie, Bit and, Leena would need to go to sleep. And for Bit and Leena that would not be with each other or they would never sleep, not only that he wouldn't get to sleep either, Leena was loud enough as it is with out Bit helping her to scream.  
  
Brad ran out of his room to go try and get them all to sleep. "Ok you guys its bed time"  
  
"Ahh Brad we're not sleepy yet" was Bit and Leena's childish response.  
  
"Um, where's Jamie guys?" questioned Brad.  
  
"Over there" Bit pointed to the spot where Jamie was passed out on his back.  
  
"HOLY SHIT" Brad ran over and checked Jamie's breathing and pulse. Jamie's slow and labored breathing was due to the fact that his body was exhausted from throwing up so much, and his pulse was slow but stable. Brad rolled him over on to his side so that he wouldn't drown in his own fluids. Well Jamie could be sober by the time they were supposed to battle.  
  
By the time Brad had separated Bit and Leena it was ten in the morning and they were still drunk. "I don't know what I'm gonna do with you in the battle, YOU TWO DRIVE ME TO DRINK." Brad took out his liquor and downed the last of the bottle. "Good I was starting to feel sober" Brad then went to sleep after setting his alarm for two.  
  
Brad's alarm goes off. "Oh dear God tell me that that was a dream." Brad got up and walked down the hall. Bit was walking out of Leena's room with a huge grin of his face. "God no, please just shoot me now, send down a bolt of lightning and kill me." Brad walked down the hall and looked into Leena's room and saw a very awake Leena with the same huge grin that Bit had. "At least there wont be any legal technicalities, yet." Brad was at his limit, his grand idea didn't seem so grand now, but it still worked. It was getting to be an irony in itself by now.  
  
It was easier to get them ready for the battle than it was to get them to sleep, which they didn't do anyway. And both of them were still drunk. But at least they stopped fighting. Doc walked into the Rec. room. "Bit, I managed to finish your new CAS system, despite this massive head ache."  
  
"I know how you feel Doc, my head is killing me, guess I made Dad's beer bread too strong." Stated Jamie as he had just woke up from passing out while drunk off his ass.  
  
"Oh yeah, what's it called?" asked a still dazed Bit.  
  
Doc Toros answered quickly so he could sleep off his splitting headache, which he was unaware of, was a hangover. "Well I call it boxer." He then left and slept off his hangover.  
  
"Gee, Bit Dad didn't even tell you what the new unit did."  
  
"Oh well me an Liger will figure it out in today's battle"  
  
Brad could have hit himself how could he have forgotten that they had a battle to day and had to get them dead drunk the night BEFORE THE BATTLE.  
  
Oh well it could be worse, even though Brad couldn't see how, but anything can get worse, especially when drinking is involved.  
  
"GOOOOOOOO BOXER." Yelled Bit as the Liger was launched from the hover cargo.  
  
Brad and Leena were already on the battlefield waiting for the judge. When the huge white streak appeared in the sky and made a huge explosion from the impact. The Capsule raised itself up out of the ground and opened revealing the judge. " This is a sanctioned battle, the area within a 40 mile radius is a designated zoid battle field, danger only warriors and personnel are allowed every one else must get the hell out of here. For I am the Judge and my word is the law on the Battlefield. Battle mode 0-9-8- 2, the blitz team verses the Lightning team. Ready, Fight."  
  
"Well Liger, guess we can figure out how this new system works." A small light goes off on the dash of the Liger. "Multi-facet" Bit presses the new button and three Ligers identical to the Boxer appear beside it. The Liger takes a step forward and staggers due to the link Bit and Liger share, the white zoid is feeling the effects of the alcohol.  
  
Brad was in deep now they were against one of the fastest zoids on record. And Bit and Leena couldn't battle while drunk like he could.  
  
Jack Sisco a top pilot of the amazingly fast lightning saix. Sped up and launched himself at the new liger. One of the zoid holograms flickered as the saix ran though it. All of the liger boxers took off at a very decidedly un-straight course. Leena fired random shots off that actually did hit something, taking a chunk out of Chris Tasker's zoid armor.  
  
Brad took a long swig of the powerful alcohol and ran after Kelly's zoid in his shadow fox. The fox was no match for the saix in speed but made up for it by being able to fire in all directions with his 30 mm laser gattling gun. Bit jumped about in the boxer's light armor and the three other holographic Ligers jumping around didn't help Jack Sisco's aim any in fact it really pissed him off. "Quit jumping around like a fool and fight me already Bit Cloud."  
  
"Look at liger jump, jump liger, jump."  
  
Jack looked at Bit though the com-link. Bit face was still a little red but it was fading quick and his hangover would soon begin. Brad looking in the com-link too and noticed that both Bit and Leena were getting sober and quick from the physical activity of piloting their zoids.  
  
Brad's Face took up the forward view screen of both of Bit and Leena's zoids. "Listen to me you two look under your seats you guys look kinda thirsty." It was a last ditch effort to pull them out of the hang over they were about to have and if they were going to win this battle with any hope at all of having any parts of their zoids left. They needed this.  
  
Bit and Leena looked under their seats and found a bottle with a skull on it with a X. Bit and Leena had never seen anything like it. " Hey Braaaad, whath thisp stuff? Whath does S-kulllll mean?"  
  
"It means good stuff. It will give you your energy back." If that wasn't the biggest lie brad had every told he'd like to know what he said that was better. Yeah it would give them their energy back but in an hour they'd feel like they were about to die. But no sooner had he thought that they took a huge drink of the powerful alcohol and were rosy cheeked again.  
  
Unfortunately for Brad Doc's hangover had been slept off and he was quickly realizing what was going on and when he walked into the command room of the hover cargo and saw what Brad did, the realization had hit him. "So that's why I smelled like cheap whiskey."  
  
The com-unit came on in front of Doc and Brad yelled though it "THAT COST ME TWENTY BUCKS FOR ONE BOTTLE OF THE STUFF."  
  
"Yes I noticed. There was about a thousand dollars taken out of the blitz team account, and when I saw all the glass in the recycle bin I picked one up and read it. I must admit though it was some pretty good bootlegged whiskey."  
  
Brad was at a loss for words he was in deep shit now. But he couldn't think about that now he still had a battle do win.  
  
Bit felt better now he was starting to get a headache but the drink that he had made it go away, and he was feeling good. He jumped up, right, ioned up behind jack and blew off the tail of the jack's saix. Jack came on the com with a good cussing for Bit, but stopped when the liger appeared under his zoid. He jumped straight up before the liger could slash at his underside; he heard a loud " strike laser claw" and knew what happened. Bit had projected an image of the liger under him to make him jump. And it was too late for him to do anything except rack up another win to Bit Cloud, and hope that Chris and Kelly would take out the others.  
  
Leena saw Kelly run straight for her, and was reminded of a squirrel. She had hunted the little devils with Leon and he had taught her how to "bark" them. You would shoot right before and under them so the shock of the hit would kill them and leave the skin intact. Leena took aim and fired every missile she had right there in front of the Saix. The resulting explosion was later talked about for years as the shockwave hit the saix and the command system froze.  
  
Brad was having a difficult time keeping up with the fast zoid. And had a little damage done to his shadow fox. Then it hit him, RUN LIKE HELL. He turned around and ran back towards the hover cargo as fast as the fox would let him. Chris and her Saix turned tail and ran after him slowly catching up from his huge head start. When she was within 100meters the fox's tail opened and the net came out. Chris tried to turn but it was too late, she tripped and was stuck in the net. Brad turned around slowly and walked toward the downed saix. And aiming carefully put a single bullet into the chest of the zoid. Command systems freeze.  
  
They all made their way back to the hover cargo ready to celebrate their victory when Brad remembered how much shit he was in. but it was too late to run the fox was already in the hover cargo he had no choice but to face his punishment.  
  
  
  
Oh no what will doc do to Brad for getting every one smashed? Will Bit and Leena remember their mid-night fling? And if so what will happen to Bit if they do? What will doc do about it when he finds out? Find out next time when "punishments are dealt." 


	4. when punishments are dealt

Al Gore: I own every thing, I made the internet. The computer you are using now I own it. I OWN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.  
  
MM50K: you crazy old disillusioned bastard. tags Al Gore with taser. Calm down now. As the prince of this universe, and the eternal champion, I say that I do not own zoids or the movie legend of drunken master. But I do own this story seeing as I'm the one writing it. grins evilly, tags Al Gore a few more times with the taser. What is the world coming to now a days? Some one loses something and they clam it was stolen. And now for the chapter "when punishments are dealt."  
  
  
  
Brad slowly got out of his zoid. The fox could tell that it's warrior was in deep trouble and was stalling as long as he could. Good thing he had all those bottles he still had hidden in the hover cargo, so that when this was all over with he could drown out his pain in his bottle of twenty dollar bootlegged whiskey. Then brad realized something… Bit and Leena never took those bottles of alcohol that was in their zoids. Brad ran back to Bit and Leena's zoids and climbed around looking for the bottles.  
  
"Damn their not here. Guess they both sobered up enough to get rid of some of the evidence."  
  
Brad kept walking down the long hallways of the hover cargo. He never noticed how really short they were when you didn't want to get to where you were going. Brad started to feel sober again so he got on one knee and lifted up his pant leg, revealing a small flask of his alcohol. Taking a large swig of the warm alcohol made him feel better, but he reminded himself he needed to buy a insulated flask… warm liquor just doesn't taste very good. But he understood why the British drank their beer warm… the Lucas electric company couldn't wire anything worth their own weight in crap, least of all refrigerators. He walked by Leena's room and heard something inside. He crept closer and closer to the door and opening it just barely he saw Bit and Leena drinking his alcohol and going at it again. He shuddered and closed the door trying to rid his mind of what he had just seen.  
  
"Maybe I should trick Jamie into going in to get them… yeah if he can handle that much alcohol he needs a little childhood trauma, it builds character."  
  
He kept walking a little faster to get away from the noise that Leena was making. He soon reached the command room, and his punishment from the doc. But to his surprise Naomi was with him and Jamie was no where in sight.  
  
"Brad your very lucky that Naomi was here and talked me into her giving you your punishment. She promised me that you would be severely punished." The Doc told him he said some more stuff but Brad wasn't paying attention the alcohol he had drank earlier was taking effect again. The only thing going though his mind was "oh shit oh shit oh shit. Naomi is going to punish me?" Brad just nodded yes, no, yes, yes, and an I don't know. This seemed to satisfy the Doc and he left Brad's fate in the hands of a crazy woman that had the hots for him. They walked down the hall and he could still hear Bit and Leena going at it.  
  
Brad wondered to himself "how long before Doc found out about it." They stole all his alcohol that he didn't have hidden on his body or in his stash. So they could be drunk for a while but did Doc know that Bit and Leena were drunk too and right now probably even more intoxicated than he was.  
  
Jamie walked by them, and Brad remembered his little trick to play on him. "Hey, Jamie, go tell Leena to be quite, she in her room, ok?"  
  
Jamie looked at him strange and said ok I'll see what I can do. Jamie walked down the hall, Naomi pushed Brad a little bit to get him going but he remained still, waiting for what he was sure to come. Jamie opened the door and looked in, his eyes opened wide. He turned around locked the door shut it, then took three steps toward Brad almost reaching him before falling flat on his face making it even more red. Jamie didn't move so Brad thought the poor kid passed out from the sight. It just isn't something young minds can handle. Brad thought to himself again, "Ahh yes a little childhood trauma builds character. But this is more than a little trauma, so I figure he's gonna be out of it for quite some time at least until he gets some. Which would be like… never!"  
  
Brad started moving again to where ever Naomi took him. First it was the workout room.  
  
  
  
Pierce looked out over a peaceful lake, she took a sip of her margarita. She let the salt and the alcohol mix, she had to admit salt and alcohol just don't work well together. She ordered two shots of tequila, and downed them quickly. She just couldn't get that pilot out of her mind, that damnable Wild Eagle. He had shot her down quite a few times and he kept calling her Little lady. That's why she couldn't get him out of her mind. She'd show him how little she was. That's when she made up her mind to go to the Blitz team base and kidnap that Wild Eagle. With a little alcohol it shouldn't be to hard, he looked like he couldn't take much so she'd get him drunk and take off with him.  
  
"I'll get you yet Wild Eagle, you will be mine at last."  
  
She got up and walked out leaving a large tip for the waiter. Pierce walked away from the bar and jumped into her Brand New Raynos that she … liberated from the Back draft. This one wasn't called a rayNOS for nothing she had enough nitrous oxide in it to boost the speed to mach 4.5.  
  
Brad was dead beat tired after doing: sixty, one hundred and thirty pound benches, one hundred pull ups, 500 push ups, forty 400 pound squats, and just to round it out he had to do a burn out on the butterfly press starting at 150 pounds. He was about ready to die and he sure felt like it and he was sure he was going to in the days that followed this one. He was gonna be really sore for a while… a long while. Naomi kept a close watch on him most of the time but she had her back turned for a second he took a swig of his alcohol in the flask strapped to his leg. If they wanted him to work and sweat till all the alcohol was out, he could play that game.  
  
"Oh, God I'm thirsty, I need a drink. And my head hurts like hell."  
  
Naomi looked at him she had worked him hard but it was for his own good, it sounded now like he was sobering up. She knew from experience that it would take a little time before the last effects of the alcohol that he had been drinking wore off. "Ok Brad time for a water break."  
  
Brad looked really relived, he bolted up and took two steps before falling face first into the floor. That was the last thing Brad remembered, he had gotten up too fast and got really dizzy from the dehydration. Alcohol just doesn't give your body anything so when you drink only alcohol for any length of time and then do serious exercise your not gonna do well afterward.  
  
Later brad woke up in his room with it smelling clean and fresh… the smell of alcohol was gone from his room. It was impossible, they couldn't do that. That means that they cleaned him out of all of his alcohol that he had hidden in his room. He checked under his bed, under the mattress, he checked the bed itself his water bed has never been so comfortable since he replaced the water with alcohol but the water was back in it. He unbolted some of the ceiling bolts and looked around up there, they had gotten those too. He opened the back of his TV up and the two bottles in there were gone. He grabbed his globe of planet Zi and it was empty. He opened his Lava lamp but it too had water in it now. Finally after an hour of looking he got tired and decided to take a shower. He walked in turned the water on and got ready to take a shower.  
  
He jumped into the shower and the water running down him felt good he grabbed his shampoo bottle and opened it a clear liquid splashed out onto his hand. He couldn't believe he forgot about that, he sat down with the water running over him and began to drink his whiskey out of his shampoo bottle. ( I don't recommend doing this, your alcohol will have a funny taste to it and it will be watered down slightly.)  
  
Jamie and Naomi sat in the living room watching TV. "How long has Brad been in the shower now, Naomi?" Jamie asked.  
  
She looks at her watch, it was 5 in the afternoon, he'd been in there for four hours. "'Bout four hours, you better go check on him."  
  
Jamie got up and went to Brad's room, he looked in and Brad wasn't there. He walked in and went into the bathroom. The water was running but he didn't see Brad any where. He crept in slowly opening the shower door… and there was Brad sitting down naked draining the contents of a shampoo bottle.  
  
"Brad why are you drinking shampoo?" Jamie looks down to see four other shampoo bottles drained. " Better question why are you drinking mine?"  
  
Brad looked up at him, smiled, and burped up a huge bubble. The bubble made its why up to Jamie riding the hot air that the water made. It then popped right in front of Jamie's face.  
  
"OHHHH, DAMN." The noxious smell of the alcohol mixed with Jamie's potent Herbal shampoo was too much for him as he staggered out the door and into the hall way, where he was preparing to yell for Naomi when a hand came from behind him and grabbed him. He could smell a knock out agent in the cloth in the hand holding it over his face. But before he could even put up a struggle he was out cold.  
  
Pierce walked away carrying Jamie's limp form. She had him now that wild eagle would pay for what he said. She got him up into the extra passenger seat of the Raynos and took off. When they were ten miles away from the Blitz base Jamie started to wake up.  
  
"Huh, what the heck's going on?"  
  
"Damn, thought you'd be out for at least another couple of minutes" Pierce then hit the throttle control knocking the speed past the sound barrier, and unwittingly transformed Jamie's mind into that of the WILD EAGLE.  
  
"Hmmm, what's that smell? It's so familiar to me. It's like perfume. Oh yeah now I remember this is the same perfume that the little lady has." The wild eagle had his cocky tone back once again.  
  
"Stop, calling me that." Pierce hit the throttle control again sending the Raynos to mach 3.  
  
The wild eagle was thrown back into his seat. "Whoa, chill there, little lady." Pierce pulled back on the control stick sending them over a mile in the air, and set the autopilot. Pierce leaned her seat back down flat.  
  
"Don't call me little lady. I'm not little, and I'm gonna show you how lady like I am."  
  
The Wild Eagle did his trademark cocky grin, then they both proceeded to do it like mammals on the discovery channel, they made sure to do it a few other ways as well. (I may have to change the rating of this fic to R if I keep this up and no I'm not going to do a lemon this early in my writing career.)  
  
  
  
I'm going to have to make a when punishments are dealt two. And finish up. Yeah I know a lot of you would like me to make this an NC-17 fic, but I'm not going to make this one Nc-17. At least not if it isn't already. I'm still not to sure on what makes a fic what rating. But I think I'm pushing the limits on pg-13. Please review and tell me how I'm doing constructive criticism is welcome, I like complements even better. 


	5. when punsihments are dealt TWO

I was gonna do another short intro where I beat the hell out of a infamous crazed bastard, but I just couldn't think of some one that would be appropriate. * Tags Al Gore with taser then kicks him between the legs* the threat to the gene pool has been eliminated, humanity is safe once again.  
  
I don't own zoids. But any day when you can hop a fence like Jackie Chan is a good day.  
  
I have a fever so my mind is missing so this should be good.  
  
When punishments are dealt TWO.  
  
  
  
Brad got up out of the shower and burped up a few more bubbles. That herbal shampoo hadn't tasted that bad. He couldn't remember how long he had been in there but he got dressed and decided to go out on a run with the Fox. Brad put on his usual clothes and was amazed that he didn't smell like alcohol. Brad slunk around the blitz team base but he didn't see any one, even Bit and Leena weren't where he remembered. He was in the base all alone, whether or not that was a good thing was yet to be seen.  
  
Brad walked out into the hanger the jeep was gone and so was the Liger and the Gun Sniper. (Here after referred to as the GS.) Brad climbed up the side of the Fox and jumped in the cockpit. And then started the fox running out of the hanger. A very disgruntled Naomi taps Brad on the shoulder.  
  
"Ah what do we have here some one trying to escape their punishment? Or did you just wanna move to a different location for it?" Naomi pulled the seat back to make a flat area for them. Where Brad was rewarded for supposedly staying sober for such a long time. Which he didn't by any stretch of the word.  
  
*#*#*#*#*#*#*  
  
The Wild Eagle woke up in the cockpit of the Raynos, but it wasn't his. He tried to get up but something stopped him. He opened his eyes but he couldn't see anything but a shower of blue. Wild Eagle thought back to the night before and remembered what had happened. The little lady had gotten drunk and had kidnapped him to show him that she wasn't a "little lady." Which looking down he had to admit that he had been wrong in that respect. It was a good thing that he was the Wild Eagle now and not Jamie or Jamie would be going out of his mind. Jamie would never have done anything like what he and Pierce did. But even though they both shared the same body Mentally the Wild Eagle was about 19 while Jamie was 15. Since the Raynos was still on auto pilot and he couldn't move with Pierce on top of him, even though there wasn't any room in the cockpit to move in anyway. So the Wild Eagle went back to sleep with a smile on his face, not his usual cocky smile this one was more happy and content.  
  
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*  
  
Bit and Leena were in their zoids running across the desert, still drunk as hell and their zoids packed full of all the alcohol they had pilfered from Brad's room. As far as they knew or cared no one knew what they had done. Least of all Leena's father Doc Toros. Little did they know that Brad, and Jamie knew but when Jamie will come back no one knows so far.  
  
Bit and Leena both stopped in their zoids. The cockpit doors opening and showing the pilots, Leena hopped out of her GS then began to climb up the liger to get into the Liger's cockpit with Bit. The Liger knew what was going to happen in its head and it didn't like it at all. But it was too late Leena was already in and the cockpit door had closed, and their wasn't anything Liger could do about it without hurting them. The Liger's audio sensors shut down after Leena's ear-splitting scream. The Hover cargo moves up over a ridge and into COM range. In taking offense to what was happening inside of its head the liger contacted the hover cargo with the Doc at the helm.  
  
"Hmmm? The Liger seems to be contacting the hover cargo." The Doc turns on the COM and yells in horror at what he sees. He faints moments later.  
  
Bit and Leena look at the COM after they hear the high pitched girly scream. Leena yelled at the top of her lungs " Its Dad!"  
  
"We are in deep shit aren't we?"  
  
"Most likely just you"  
  
"WHAT??"  
  
"You're in deep shit when my Dad wakes up, and I don't think I can help you much there."  
  
The Ligers cockpit opens and Leena climbs out with some encouraging words for Bit. Mostly, run like hell, and an army of daemons was after him.  
  
Bit couldn't leave, not without Leena. But she needed her father so Bit was determined to work it out. We all know how this will end.  
  
Doc woke up and remembered the horrendous sight that he had seen. But the Doc using what little sanity he had left used the Com to call Bit and get this figured out, after all it must have been some kind of mistake. "Bit, Please explain to me what just happened." Doc couldn't see Leena in the cockpit so maybe he was seeing things.  
  
"Doc, * gulp * its not what it looked like. Leena and I fell in love, and it kinda got carried away… a little."  
  
Doc's face turned red. " I knew there had to be a reasonable explanation to all this. Now your gonna pay for what you did to my daughter Bit Cloud." All the guns on the hover cargo turned towards Bit and the Liger, still in the Boxer armor. Doc proved Bits fears true when he opened fire on Bit and the Liger.  
  
Bit was barely able to dodge those first attacks. "Multi- facet" three holograms of the liger appeared. Then a new attack flashed on the dash " Drunken Boxing." The powerful hydraulic pumps in the Boxer armor stood the liger up. Not being used to this new position the liger stumbled around a little, while the Doc's constant fired flared up around him. The doc's aim was improving with each shot as he gained better control of the remote. The Ligers claws glowed gold as the liger swatted the shots out of the sky with amazing speed and fluidness. The liger staggered forward and swatted a shot back into the cannon. The liger leaned over backward and fired its shock cannons, taking out the rest of the cannons.  
  
Leena knew this would hurt her father a hell of a lot more than it would hurt her. She then smashed a frying pan into the Doc's head knocking him out cold. "Bit, its safe to come back."  
  
"Thank God."  
  
"No thank Leena."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Your welcome, love."  
  
"What are we gonna do about your dad?"  
  
"Just tell him it was a dream."  
  
Two months later  
  
Leena looked at Bit and her father, and with a surprising calmness she said. "I'm late"  
  
  
  
Well I'm done with this one for now but I will continue it. Right now I want to work on my new project "the threat within" a completely original plot done by me. 


	6. Danger Room

MM50K: hello this is megaman50k and I'm here to write you nice people a funny zoids fic. But that bastard Al Gore said it was his. The gall that that man has.  
  
Al Gore: it's mine I swear. I own every thing, I made the Internet, and bush stole the election from me, after all that hard work I had my people do to fix the ballots.  
  
MM50K: Listen you stupid jerk Tomy and Hasbro owns zoids, I have no clue who owns Legend of drunken master, but it ain't you. * Tags al gore several times with taser * it saddens me to no end that people like him get away with everything. Now on with the story.  
  
Bit: bout damn time.  
  
MM50K: shut up you.  
  
Bit: make me  
  
MM50K: you wanna have that baby instead of Leena?  
  
Bit: I'll be quiet now.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Danger room  
  
  
  
Leena looked at Bit and her father, and with a surprising calmness she said. "I'm late"  
  
Bit looked at her in disbelief, not quite understanding yet. Doc on the other hand picked it up right away, jumped over two couches, slid over the table, and tackled Bit with a side kick to the head then began to strangle the poor pilot.  
  
"AHHHHHHHH, CAN'T BREATHE." Was the only thing Bit could say as Doc shook him and strangled him.  
  
"DAD, you can't kill him, my baby wont have a daddy." Pleaded Leena.  
  
"I won't kill him, I'll just make him wish he was never born. Then I'll castrate him, with a wooden spoon." Yelled the Doc in that crazy voice he has.  
  
With out oxygen going to Bit's brain he was starting to feel really out of it worse than when he was wasted those 2 months ago, he reached in his pocket and fished out a gold ring, holding it outstretched to Leena. Bit let out a few gags that sounded like "will you marry me," Leena then smashed her father over the head with a bathtub.  
  
Leena kneels down to Bit and says "yes."  
  
Several minutes later after Bit has enough oxygen to talk, "you know your going to give Doc brain damage if you keep hitting him like that."  
  
"Well if I just let him you'd suffer brain damage."  
  
"Good point."  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
  
  
Jamie woke up in his room; pierce was lying next to him again. Looked like Wild Eagle and Pierce had another wild night, but that was fine with Jamie. He had his goes at it too, and it wasn't like she was cheating. Wild Eagle and Jamie were one and the same, Wild Eagle was just Jamie's stronger more confident side, while Jamie himself was quiet and shy, Wild Eagle did every thing that Jamie couldn't.  
  
He looked under the covers at Pierce, her soft skin and full body. The cool air on her bare skin woke her up.  
  
"Oh, so now you want some of the Little Lady." Pierce pulled him over on top of her and it was on. Little Lady was now Wild Eagle's and Jamie's term of endearment for her. And Pierce liked all the attention.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
  
  
Brad and Naomi had been MARRIED for about 3 weeks now and trying they're hardest to have kids. But it just never seemed to work for them. Naomi would have Brad for days on end and still no results. She blamed it on his earlier drinking problem, that's what made Naomi make up her mind on how she could get a baby.  
  
"Ok Brad, thanks to you I can't have a baby now. So since its your fault, I'm gonna have to fix it. Now here take these." Naomi hands Brad two bottles of medicine.  
  
"But, Naomi, I thought fertility drugs were for women?"  
  
"Ah that's only what the label says."  
  
"Naomi, you gave me a bottles of FERTILITY DRUGS and VIAGRA."  
  
"Yeah, so. And you're going to take them all."  
  
"Well at least I'll die happy. DEATH BY SNU SNU FOREVER."  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Meanwhile in the zoids hanger with the zoids. Yeah you can tell where this is going.  
  
Leena's Gun Sniper and Bit's Liger decided to get to know each other a little better. The Raynos used its wings to hide its eyes while the Shadow Fox hid behind it. And when it was all over a green pod lay on the floor. The Liger fell over and growled softly, while the Gun Sniper did the same.  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
Doc woke up and remembered what he was about to do earlier. He ran around the Blitz Base, chasing Bit and he was in turn chased by Leena with a sink. The Doc caught up with Bit, flipped up on his hands wrapped his legs around Bit's neck and flung him over his head. Doc ran up one of the walls patting his upper arm then jumped off yelling "BONE SAW" landing on Bit causing a yell to come from him.  
  
Doc then picked Bit up and started to spin around, yelling. Doc then through Bit into a wall, and as Bit tried to get back up the Doc ran by and clothes-lined him. Doc then fell backward on top of Bit and got him into a headlock, which he held for the count of three.  
  
The COM came on and interrupted them, it was Harry. "Bit Cloud, I know what you did to Leena and now I'll get my revenge. I, Harry Champ challenge you to a zoid battle."  
  
The Doc spoke up "how much is the prize money Harry?"  
  
"Twenty times normal."  
  
"He'll do it."  
  
  
  
  
  
Yeah I know it was short, but hey the next one will be longer and it will have drunken zoid fu. And as always please review, that's how I know if I'm doing a good job or not. 


End file.
